Standing on the edge of nowhere... Leap of Faith?

So here I am again standing on the edge of what... wondering where I am headed and what the heck does all that mean that is behind me.  I really don't like where I am .. limbo...

But, alas, there is always cyber space to dump it all in... :0

Since August, life has taken a turn onto a new path.. new adventures?  What is really crazy about changing your relationship is that even though people don't want to own up to it - they take sides.  Life changes, friends change!  All the AA BS of the hand of AA always being there for you is a load of CRAP from what I can see.  Perhaps it is me - but, I don't know!  It is funny because another line that you often hear is that your friends in the bars would not recognize you being gone or perhaps not even remember your name if they saw you.  Well, my phone isn't ringing off the hook and my email is not chock full of happy notes... no over booked social schedule either.  Loosing old friends hurts there is no way to sugar coat it or make it sound not so bad - it sucks and it hurts.

As for the other events that have me a bit overwhelmed and wound up .. I called my lawyer today to tell her that my court date was set for 1/2 (Happy New Year- right?).. Anyway, she neglected to mention one small detail during our first session and discussion.  The little detail is the $4000.00 retainer that she needs to represent me --- what?!  Seriously!  So my day has been crap from the beginning.   I did make another $300.00 appointment with her (much to my hesitation) just to get SOME guidance on what the hell I am doing.  I felt like if I didn't I might be pissing in the wind..

Divorce is shitty.  It is all about material crap.  The person I am for good or bad would rather say frig the crap and start again.  Only thing is I am getting old and 30 years of investing in something is just too much to walk away from and say "have at it"... much as I have the desire to do so right now.

Well I guess it is time to take the leap of faith... just hope the water is warm.

I do know one thing (I guess) is even though my bag feels pretty full of crap right now.. I am sure I could find many others that I would gladly keep the load that I have versus taking on theirs.

Two people that are close in my thoughts, in my prayers and in my heart are Angie and Wendy.  Both are fighting the fight of their lives with grace and incredible dignity.  Ladies know you have a special place in my heart and that I am sending you all of the power of love that I can possibly generate. 

Anyway... I guess I have blogged or blabbed enough... at least my computer still likes me.

Where does time go ..?

 

Looking at this picture causes me to contemplate how quickly time passes and just how much I have to be grateful for in my life.  I can remember myself being a young mother watching my daughter grow with wonder and love.  Now I watch her do the same... 

It does my heart good to see that my daughter is such a wonderful Mom.  A person once said to me "she is an old soul".. she is!  I am so proud of my wonderful family! <3

The days fly by.. so quickly.  

 

 

Yes - I will be attending.  

Looking forward to enjoying the weekend with family.  Hoping for good weather and good times!

I am honored to be included in this first annual event.  Can't Wait.

Nantucket Book Festival (6/15-6/17)

YES FACEBOOK AND I HAVE PARTED WAYS!

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-05-11/facebook-co-founder-saverin-gives-up-u-s-citizenship-before-ipo.html

This just made me really disgusted.  Much as the social network provides a great way to keep in touch with friends and family.. it is a matter of principle for me and the principle is if the USA is a good enough place for you to earn your money then you should be a good enough person to maintain your citizenship and pay your taxes for the business that made you who you are.  That simple.

Hello Miss. Valerie - I am officially a "Nonni"

This post is mostly to update my Sistahs that refuse to use facebook ;)

Well the day has finally come!  Valerie is here and I am a proud Nonni!  I will be creating Nonni's bragging page shortly to keep you updated as the little sweat pea grows and learns new things!



Basically, I know I have been off the radar for a while.  On or about in November I became obsessed with making sure every little detail to welcome this sweet little one into our crazy world was covered.  There was the shower planning, the theme, the decorations, the games, the invitations, the food .. oh ya.. kept myself busy with that and the Holidays.

In January on the 14th we had a perfect day for a perfect shower.  Everything went off as planned, good food, good times, good friends and family.  There were 3 generations (4 including Valerie) present.  Grandmas and Great-Grandmas..it was a fun filled day.

Then it was time to organize and setup the nursery to welcome our little one.  A dear friend was there to help make it amazing.  Below you can see the mural she designed for the baby's room.  Yes, Taryn is not your simple bears and bows girl... she is an artist with an amazing view of life and design.  So, keeping with the them of "Yellow submarine" the mural was made.  "All you need is love" (and a whole lot of patience and diapers ... I didn't spoil the pink cloud ..LOL).

I think Valerie will definitely find stimulation with this artwork!

Then the wait began for the big day!  She was supposed to arrive on Superbowl Sunday, but she must have known that Grandpa and Nonni had other plans for this day!  Although, looking back it would have been much more fun to see her be born on that sad, sad, day!

Then came the call at 7:30 AM on Wednesday, Feb. 8th.  Mom my water just broke.  Taryn labored at home until early afternoon.  She went to the hospital at about 1PM.  After a lengthy night and lots of breathing and pushing at midnight the decision was made that the wee one (?) needed some assistance.  Taryn headed to the OR for a C-Section.  At 1:03 AM, 9LB 14OZ 21 1/2", Valerie Lynn, came into this world.  We all just love her to pieces.  The doctors and staff definitely did not read my script about a perfect birth as they really dropped the ball with some stuff... but, alas, all is incredibly well with our little "moose" baby.  She is sweeter than honey!  XO

And of course - keeping with my sentimental tendencies I created this little video to capture my emotion!

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What's up in an upside down world?

In this world that is overflowing with "political correctness" and feel good blah... "everyone gets a trophy, so nobody feels bad" Facebook has now stepped up to the plate with idiocies.  Yes - FACEBOOK!  It isn't really offensive if people drop f bombs like wildfire and show pics of nude strippers and every other thing imaginable... BUT, don't show the realism of Breast Cancer.  David Jay, a talented photographer that has been working his project "The Scar Project  http://www.thescarproject.org has been doing amazing work for the past few years.

David shows that Breast Cancer is not just a "pink ribbon".  His realistic pictures of women affected by the devastation of Breast Cancer show that we each still posses an inner beauty that comes from the soul.  We are transformed only in our body image by our scars.  David's pictures have been on Facebook for several years.
Now, all of a sudden, they have become politically conscious to the "I am offended by everything" movement that is sweeping our country and they have asked David to remove all of his pictures.

I ask you, those whom I know still have your rational senses to tell Facebook how "off base" they are with this policy.  These pictures help women that are scared and confused by what this disease will leave them with or without!  The pictures helped me and some that I know to realize that our beauty is not just as deep as the skin of our breasts.  These pictures help women to live! 

Yes, I am angry about this.  I am really saddened that there are those that can no longer look reality in the face and deal with it!