But, I'm not ready yet!

I have a dear friend that has reached the crossroads with her battle with cancer.  She is now in Hospice.  Today, I will go and see my friend.  I don't know where she is at spiritually with all of this, but I do know that I struggle.  I am angry at the disease for taking another woman that I love.  I hope that I can put that internal anger aside as I walk through the doors (a place that I have been before) and just find the place with her and her family of peace, acceptance and most of all LOVE.  I am sure that I will.

My grandmother was at this hospice when it first opened, she was actually one of the first residents there.  I remember all of the things that I have pushed aside from that time in my life.  There is a smell of death when cancer takes over.  It is a sweet smell of all things!  I know that it will hit me the minute I walk through the door, making this the reality that I keep hoping that it isn't.

I love you Tammy, my friend, and my prayer is that all of the angels surround you and bring you peace, love and a release from the pain.